Should I leave and never comeback and MY WISH

April 30 th, after doing some tasks in The Square
We decided to go on karaoke "sing a song"
That time we still just a friend, but we were happy back then
We sing, We laugh, We smile to each other, talking things out
That moment was so...
SPECIAL
One of the moment I captured was when he sang LMFAO "party rock anthem"
Watching it again just torn my heart apart...
That time he was so cheerful, sweet laugh and smiling
Because he just broke up and I am his friend...
From that statement I realize that really painful for me...
In order to make him smile again... Should I just leave and let another heal his pain.
I know I cannot be too egoist towards everybody... I love him so bad till now
BUT, yeah I've been worrying things too much until I make my own mistake anyway... that...is my fault

Blog buddies, I think my sister quotes about loving someone doesn't need a presence
Maybe i have to learn it that way and fast... T.T even when i type it, it is hurt so much I shed tears...
I just love him and do not want him to stay gloomy forever by forcing him to be my friend or starting over...

I am confused like hell now... 30 minutes to ISBD test and my heart conflicted...
I wanna smile always to him. but if my presence itself just torture him to decide 2 things...
I wanna make him happy again by the time I leave...
The last day will be when I am on my holidays...
I hope when I leave everything will be alright again...
I am nothing to anybody anyway hahaha...

I always tried to be motivated to motivate others... but looks like the one that need to be motivated is me
So... If That choice is the only thing that can make him happy and smile and laugh like the old time sake when we have karaoke together... I am gonna take my leave, pack my back and let him happy to swim once more in the world of smile

GOD... I know you won't read this... 
but I Hope not for me anymore to get happy...
I hope for him to be happy when I leave and can find a new beginning
That time... I will be happy even with tears... I swear that time... I will never come back to his life...
Keep my promise in the horizon GOD, and when i wanna crossing the line... Take my life so I will never disturb him again...
THAT's My Wish for now...

P.S. : I will not suicide but I will let God do the rest to take... I have this heart disease anyway :-)
P.S. I love you always wherever whenever whatever I am
STRONGER to LET YOUR LOVE to SMILE AGAIN...