Hariku dan Harinya

Indah memang setiap hari bila dilandasi dengan rasa kasih sayang dan juga cinta kasih yang murni dan tulus...
Pagi ini aku bangun dengan banyak pertanyaan di benakku karena semalam aku melihat youtube mengenai ramalan Tarot yang memberiku informasi yang cukup "menantang" menghadapi hubungan ku dengan pasanganku yang berada nun jauh di Bali... Ya... Ini adalah tentang tantangan hubungan Scorpio dengan Sagittarius. Banyak sekali rintangan diberitahukan akan terjadi dalam video tersebut. Namun satu hal yang aku tangkap, CINTA... itu adalah landasan dimana aku akan kuat bertahan ketika aku berada jauh dengan dirinya di Surabaya dan dia di Bali. Tantangan-tantangan yang harus kuhadapi adalah pengaruh dari pihak-pihak ketiga dalam hubungan kita... Namun dari sana pun aku belajar bahwa itu hanyalah orang ketiga bukan pasangan "ketiga" so asal kita berdua benar-benar menjaga hati dan jujur terhadap satu sama lain, aku merasa sejauh apapun badai dan rintangan berusaha untuk berhembus dalam kehidupan kita, pasti akan dapat diselesaikan dengan semangat dan pikiran yang tenang serta dingin.

Entah kenapa aku merasa bahwa aku akan selalu menjadi diriku sendiri mencintai dia yang juga mencintai diriku. Aku menemukan seseorang yang telah menjadi tambatan hatiku yang selama ini aku tidak pernah temukan di 12 kali aku berpacaran sebelumnya, Dihargai sebagai layaknya manusia yang disayangi dan dicintai. Tuhan, bila aku bisa berkata padamu dalam tiap doaku, Aku bersyukur bahwa hidupku telah lengkap sekarang, mulai dari Orang tua yang sangat mendukungku dalam segala langkahku dalam hidup 25 tahun ini, Cece kedua yang selalu menjadi pelipur laraku dan tempatku bersandar saat aku memiliki banyak sekali permasalahan dalam hidupku sekalipun dia sendiri juga memiliki masalah yang bahkan tidak sebanding dengan masalahku. Beruntung memiliki keluarga yang dalam keadaan apapun masih menerimaku sebagai manusia yang benar-benar layak untuk dihargai. Dan akhirnya untuk menambah kelengkapan dalam hidupku, datanglah seorang lelaki dewasa yang membuat dunia asmaraku yang abu-abu menjadi penuh warna hingga aku sangat bersyukur dapat bertemu dengan diri beliau.

TERIMA KASIH PADAMU
yang telah mencerahkan HARIKU DAN HARIMU menjadikannya HARI KITA BERSAMA

Walau jarakmu lebih dari 400 km namun hati kita tetap bersatu menjadi sepasang kekasih yang saling mendewasakan sesama. Banyak perbedaan dalam diri kita, namun banyak juga persamaan yang kita dapati, berbeda keyakinan namun tak membuat kita mencibir sesama. DUKUNGANMU membuatku jadi lebih kuat dalam menghadapi banyak hal. Dan aku harap dengan DUKUNGANKU membuatmu jadi lebih baik dan lebih tegar dalam menghadapi tantangan dalam hubungan kita berdua.

Aku Sayang Kamu
Aku Cinta Kamu
My DRH

Long Distance Relationship 1 month 1 week young

Hi All,
This is what I have been through since my last update...
I finally found the one that is now become the partner in my life...
But lots of challenges are happening... but until now... I am sure that I am handling it very well

I know that I am fucked up man but again, I dont know why I can say the "L" word to him easily...
Is it just because he is easy to love or that I am so messed up I am saying that word easily...

Many thoughts, many insecurities, many arguments...
People say that a healthy relationship is built on a healthy arguments and understandings...

BUT...
is it also a distance that built more successful relationship...
Here we come to my jumbled mind now...

Talking about what I think and what I want but also what I need...

So basically this partner of mine has lots of layers that I need to breakdown... but I am also challenged by his changing behavior every time I was into deep communication with him. Sometimes he is cheerful and loving, sometimes he is cold and mysterious, sometimes he is so stubborn and jerk... but sometimes also he is wounded and vulnerable... That is what I have got in these past 5 weeks with him but 2 weeks separated by DISTANCES...

I know he is a very mature man and looking for equality in our partnership, so he worked very hard tirelessly to become a man worthy enough to stand by my side... well... I am applauding his courage to become better man for me. well but I think he is becoming a better man for himself... But both of the choices are OKAY with me... why... I might be a little confuse about his changing behaviors but I know that is because many things happened in his 'almost' 32 years of living in the world of this treacherous mankind... Life has not been that well in the his younger years... and TRAUMA is consuming him for a very long time. but in my opinion, he has done very well in his life but somehow life is not in favor of him... I am asking myself... Can I be his motivation to heal himself...

THE ANSWER is... MAYBE...
Maybe Yes I can be his motivation to heal himself since I know my capabilities as a healer and motivator. I know I have been through a lot also so I can relate even though what I have is only a short time memories of loving... I know I can do it so I can penetrate the deep wall he built in these past years...

Maybe No... Because his wall is too thick and like my past relation, I got shut out again and again and I cannot give what he want... So somehow it is inevitable that I might lose the battle... again...

BUT I already gave my heart to him... and I am not the one that is back off from a challenge given to me... He challenged me to survive 3 months of the partnership in distances... and I accept the challenge... SO BE IT... I know I will survive the hardest storm with him... I know I will because deep down... I know what I am capable of... So DRH I promise you this... I might be veryyyy clingy to you, I might be a veryyyyy childish person you will ever know in your life... I might broken one or two of my promise in the future... but by no means I will ever give up what we have today. I might be very naughty to handle I might be very needy. but taught me well and I will be the one that is enought for you to rely on. not because I have money, but because I have sincerity and I have spirit to protect you. We will protect each other and we will cherish the partnership we have until someday we are mature enough to have hand in hand... MARRIAGE...

ONE POEM FOR YOU...

ME BEFORE YOU
by Go Darmadi Unjaya

As the sky turning Red
Remember the gloom that turn to shred...
You come without asking
As the leave without something
I fucked up
I messed up
We both are...
From the start where we are...
I am both foolish also childish
You are both realist also oldies...
By any means we met as the bed on the street.
By any chance we falling as the impact from the meet
Now we are intertwined with the fate of a bliss
Will it be the one that give us thing for a feast.
ME BEFORE YOU is always egoist
YOU BEFORE ME is always egoist
Both of us are a creature that relinquish
For thou shall come before me and I before you.
Dreaming life beside each other in the same soil
THE END is just THE BEGINNING

TRYING TO MAKE A COMEBACK : LIFE CRUSH STORY REVISITED

Time change...
People too...
Life is not the same as it was before...
That I know It cannot be reversed...
What I have done...
What I have not done...
I think it has been 3 years after my last post...
WHY???
Because I met a man that made me remember i used to do blogging...
I read his new BLOG and... It tells me things that I should have done long time ago...

MAKING A COMEBACK IN WRITING...
Hahaha... Thanks... Man... You are amazing since day One... And I hope i can know you... Lil by lil everyday...

You made a spark in my life in a single shot...

And I Tell GOD "LORD surely have the power to bestow me that single moment that even I myself surprised that I can connect with a man so intense that I am afraid I am gonna lose him"

Sometimes it is funny to just look at a person and being mesmerized by the charm... Completely speechless when he treated you like a "REAL HUMAN BEING" Even though it was only "Fun" I learnt lots of things... And suddenly that feeling start to take control over my logical...

You might say that you are a nerd, a geek or a weirdo... But to me... Even only meeting you one time... I know you are someone more precious than the label...just like you have said to me it is all JUST the numbers.

Looking forward to have a next meeting and journey with you again...

I know that I what I have is real... Yours is too...

Just hoping that i will see you again more often... I know i am childish but i know that life is all about balancing your childish side and mature side... Head to head... Arm to arm... Heat to heat...

All day long
All night long

Cheers from Me
Cheers for You

COMING BACK IS A REAL JOURNEY BECAUSE I FOUND YOU