Get used to be used by people that I used... :-) :-) :-)

That is what my condition is... hehe too late to update so I will update it tomorrow hahaha.... It is already tomorrow though @.@

Well it is not good but it is not bad either... SO WHAT IS IT???

It has been months since i posted here... welll such a long time freezing this blog up. but yeah.. I have my story... but again... not only a good one but a bad one too... haha

Well... my sixth semester is over with tears and laughs... and i am gonna say i am quite proud of it even though still have some heart problem of disappointment I still have a lil bit of a happy ending. It is not an ending though but you can call it the ending of one chapter in my life...

As you can see... It is about a boy again. I stop my previous since I get a mind opener from one case in my life... I am sick ... really sick. and then I have to get a treatment... then I got allergic to that treatment. and knowing that the truth was that I am so stressful and tired physically and mentally. Quite a problem... I get skin allergic for the time I was in my project. But I keep fighting since i will not give up till the last breath I breathe. Then I finish my project brilliantly... with 2 warning letters that seems so untrue but real... hahahaha... quite jumbled there... 

Then moving onto second phase that I recovered from my allergy and start gymming again. voila at last... Well getting healthier day by day I found out that once a CAT it will always a CAT... there I am gonna stay dormant for love since I cannot perfectly control the life of mine...

Third phase... I realize that my heart was already stolen since the day I met him after the first Development program at my campus... i was an instructor for the physical disciplinary program and he was my junior. I didn't get the chance to train him but somehow he knew me... That time in the SQUARE... I was introduced to him and knowing him. I find it very funny though since i am the senior and he is still freshman that time. but his personality... attract me. I was afraid then to give my heart again. but in the time that passing so fast... Our relationship getting funnier and somehow better... I know him, chatting with him. get to know him. but when I have my project I am losing contact with him for 2 and half months... But then after all of my project is gone... I ask him to meet me. and he came.... that made me so happy really happy. the following days we spent it like a good friend but never be a bestfriend... hahaha.. because in the end... I made a mistake. have him mad... and yeah... we lost contacts till now. ironically speaking... Last time I met him was when the second development program was begun... and I serve him... got a lil chance to ask him what happened. but i only got to see him teasing me... Yeah whatever.. but the last day i saw him... He told me "better we don't see each other anymore" well yeah that is harsh and heart throbbing for me. but that is again... the story of my life. I am grateful for it for I learnt something by IT... STILL... you are stealing my heart until now. miss you like a crazy but never can say that I like you a lot I wanna try to be your boyfriend someday... :-)

For you who are so lonely and closed... I am gonna tell you one poet ...

LONEWOLF by Go Darmadi Unjaya

Losing will get us chill

Craving for a deal without meal

Thy show the prove that shove

Glaring harshly leaving quickly

Thou lonewolf have a soul

A wither one to be honed

A desperate one to be  cared

A lovely one to be noticed

As you can see why it is free

Because the heart that it is pure

For the soul to be free

so that it will be cherish more and more

Be with me o thy lonewolf

As if the world is the hope

Walk closely to be hold 

Because you are my lonely wolf

PS : for someone who has WHY in his name... (missing you so much bro)

Nothing can describe HIM as just a BOY... (no one to talk to so just uploaded it)

Hey everyone. long time very very long time not seeing all of you and my blogspot. It is just I am so busy these days and got no inspiration to write in this blog... All of you may know that now i am at my 6th semester going to open my own cafe and hotel... in my campus. hahahaha... so the readers... if you wanna come just come in the april 22nd yeah... I am looking forward to it. hahahaha.... Well what i want to tell you is not that information only. I, again want to tell you about my life in these times...

On december I got so great present for my birthday such as a New Galaxy Mega Phone. and yeah... like it even love it so much.... hahahaah then I get into a committe for STKN in the end of the year. I spent my time with committees and Yeahhh.. it felt so good meeting new friends and a new crush... But later on. he just being a good friend of mine... who supportively supporting me hahahaha....

On January, I just got nothing to do than a holidays... yeah HOLIDAYS guys. finally after many times waiting for returning home. I got the chance... In my house at mojokerto city... I have so many pleasure such as I could spend times with my wonderful families especially in the Chinese new year. I love them so much and always love them... hahahaa I hope that our families will be freed from the IOU... hahaha... lols... I really wish for that.... So that is for January...

On February... In this moment before valentine... I get something to tell you... It will be my lonely valentine but Only for this year ends... because I believe next year... I will be with him... Well this is my story...I knew him for a sites called MJ... I thought he was in Surabaya so I ask him to have a little chat with me... I don't know why he gave me his Pin... at first... I thought it will be just one night stand again and pfft it is over... but yeah... My chat with him just started with a warm welcome in the night... Asking for names and somehow bot of us have unique names... hahaha one is go one is boy... hahahha... We started our talks in that one night... he even combine both of our names as Go Boy... and somehow I felt very close to him... all of my worries just gone and I enjoyed it...We were talking about japan since he was comiing from a mix family lil bit japanese and Bataknese. he told me many  things bout him like he is an employee now and yeah many  things... hahaha... we talked like crazy that time...At may... he will go to Vietnam. for 5 months... that time I felt like... Oh My God. what can I do to be with him if our distance just get further... but yeah... that time I still not having the problems... He told me something that I will remember the rest of my life... He loves my cheeks. because it is like dumplings...weird but I love it. hahaha... silly but yeah... I like it and thats.. why  I like it in the first...I even share my problems with him. and He helped me through my problems...

He worked in Karawang but he lived in Jakarta... and yeah. he shares problems too with me. and i was like. I trust him and he trust me... we talked a lot... well actually I am the one who talked a lot and he just talked a little. but yeah I was okay since... It is like he has known me very well... we shared I dont know. SOME THING... hahahaah...This valentine I ask him to be my valentine... but it is not the time yet. hahahaha since the things that is a great wave will only just come afterwards...
He told me everything I told him everything... but until one day...
What I really remembered... just ... He told me to stop.. stop to not reply his BBM and stop to not end to guard him. And SO I WILL do that for him...

But 2 days ago many things got jumbled and voila my relationship just like downward spiral...
My brother in term... told me that he got a crush on a person... first I know him as nishikawa so yeah it is not my BOY... hahaha... but yeah that sunday... he updated his status and I was just shocked... and somehow... boy's bbm is not active for me to ask the truth. I cried for the thing happened to me... but again the next day I decided to keep fighting for his love... hahaha... then i got deleted by my brother... I still do not know why... but yeah... it is just a story  of my life... So for now... I will keep believing BOY even though he is doubting me... I told him my darkest secrets... I will come clean. I will test my health. and yeah... That is for me to be healthy so I can protect MY BOY... forever... Hahahaha.. maybe this is what you called LOVE OR LIKE IS JUST ALIKE... hahahahaha...


Love Pain and Bittersweet are 3 words for you to grab when you are in love
But someone said to me... that Love is happiness and when you love someone means you will fight for every challenges given to both of you... SO I WILL.. :-)

Waiting for 14th... so I can be with you in BBM... I am sorry ya Boy. for not believing. and now I know how it felt to be doubted by you... hahaha. I will gain it again even I have to go to Jakarta or Vietnam