Lullaby... These Nightmares still on my nerve

LULLABY by POLINA GAGARINA

Pain and sorrow It's all you feel today Tears and hollow Drifting all the way Face your demons Chase away your ghosts State your freedom You are your own host Your redemption is close for you to reach Peace is there  Find yourself the breach Ref: Wipe your tears and breathe again Fight your fears and break the chain Find yourself and free your soul Feel again And be a whole Smile for me  My love And shine Spread your wings Begin to fly Feel the sun Your spring is near here and there's nothing to fear

Once I listened to this song i feel like all these nightmares are coming back to me. It feels like lullaby. but yeah. again. Sleeping is kinda my nightmare since it brings back deep memories into the surface. I dont know why i am feeling like this but it must be something that i really feared. Being alone maybe. because this song tell me how not to be alone again in this world but I cannot seems believe anyone in this world. Trusting is easy but believing??? I hope that someday someone will read this and come to me to tell me it is okay to believe someone again. and that is him. Hahahaha... Seems like that is just my empty hope for the day... Suddenly feels gloomy so I just post some junk i think. hahahaah.... Reminiscing some life of mine that turn to be cold and empty... Emptier than before and even colder than before. because everyone is just the same. They just know how to be with me in some situations... but in my lonely hour... they tend to go away and be with another one that is better than me. well that is being realistic i think. in this world... Gay is just... a single entity that will keep being loner... even how much I wanna be with someone till my last breath... all i will ever get is just. the empty heart with full of lies and dramas. Life is just that simple because once I start my liking to someone.... They just go away. and when I don't like someone. they like me the most. What an Irony for today conversation huh.... Just like this song I hope someone can say that to me... Soon or maybe never... hahaah because i dont think i am ready to get hurt again and again with an empty promise. Even myself is a liar why I keep believing if everyone is not? That's for today maybe. :-)




Spending time in the Dessert but is not hot let alone scorched... It is cold. Cold like Ice...
That is the same like my feeling to watch others like nothingness ... Because i cannot even trust myself now.
Who can I trust then???
I prayed to GOD to help me find the answer... But still find nothing till now. Have a nice day everyone. :-)