I wanna be myself again

Before having a mid term of pastry and bakery... I watched Japanese Dorama called GTO or Great Teacher Onizuka... That was the drama I've longed for when I was a child... and now I can watch it from the beginning to end... worth for my sleeping time even though price of test will be paid... but I am aware... I wanna be myself again after I watched all of the series... WHY? because it was Onizuka's teaching. Even he resort to violence to set things up straight... I love his way to bring all of the delinquents as one with full of heart and friendship. That is so sweet for me in this life. Even though the film is really old it was worthy of a life change experience.

These few days, I've been poisoned by myself. Searching for love that seems so blur in every sex that I've done. and in the end I was left out with mouth shut-ed... My ATM card was stolen yet I could only say that it was my carelessness in the ATM machine... huff silly me. but it was okay now. I know the culprit since the beginning but when I resort to fun I think that will be my punishment of doing it carelessly. The police man named F....... stole it I am sure of 100% because... it is really strange about his behaviour and things. First is his movement who gives the impression of anxiety, lie, and secret contemplation. SO, yeah... Maybe this is my voice to the world to be aware that even POLICE can do bad things... so yeah... I am now will never trust the GovCer again... lols... for me, once they betray my trust... there will be no trust... hahaha... kali rungkut and kalimas... there were the places when my money was used for 6 million... So I am crying and Have nothing to do... SO I MOVE ON... :-)

But yeah.... after all of these things happened, I kinda wonder where is Go Darmadi Unjaya... who always be rational, handle things with feelings not lust, and lovable... Tee hee... I decide... I have to be better in a day after a day.. somehow the world spoke to me with the song of P!NK (TRY) and GTO films and movie... Even if I was a mess I wanna step on to my life and walk forward being myself and fight for my life and others...

I am grateful that my parents still forgive me and give me chance I dunno how many.

But yeah.. in this kind of world when you can't talk freely when you have no power... :-) I will SHOUT OUT LOUD not because I HAVE POWER but because I HAVE COURAGE... even life is the payment... Thank you GTO ... even though i am not your student....I get the message and will be a better man... I will handle my life wiser than before and hopefully someday... there willl be a time that my future husband come to be my boyfriend :-)

KUNIO in that GTO films is freakingly handsome and get addicted to him... kyaa... lols why I always fall into man with no hair... I guess that is my criteria... ORANG RAMBUT CEPAK... wakakak...

MAN 

by : Go Darmadi Unjaya  

Being a man is not about your word

It is about what your doing and commitment

Being a man is not about your muscle

It is about what the heart can give to others

Being a man is not about the PRIDE only

It is about the PRIDE of a gentleman

Being a man is not about physically handsome and muscular

It is about the tenderness of feelings that can handle himself and other

Being a man is about how you can be yourself not only for yourself but to others

It is not about when you are superior you can look down into others who are weaklings

Being a man is about how you give everything to your lovely wife or husband...

It is not about doing your job as one but fully interact with them

Being a man in love is... Transcending anything to be with the love of your life... 

It is all about how determined you are being in this world and HAVE YOUR FREEDOM

AS A MAN...

I AM FREE NOW and will give my best for everything in my life

and LOVE MY LIFE so I can be loved again and love the one who will be my husband :-)

P.S. : I am single by my choice now